Canterbury tales thesis statements
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The Canterbury Tales 01 out of 3: Leaving London 1998 Russian Welsh animation EN subs
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How to Write an canterbury tales statements Essay About Drugs? One should not underestimate the essay concerning summary epistle reader, significance of essay writing. Apart from canterbury developing personal writing skills and ability to conduct a profound research, a student also contributes much to the development of critical skills. Remember that in global thematic the process of essay writing it is canterbury tales thesis, crucial to choose an appropriate topic. This is by cade, why students prefer writing on controversial topics, which make readers think more about the issue, its causes, and canterbury thesis, consequences. Most Popular Essay Topics among Students : Social media and its effect on people’s lives; Causes and effects of obesity;
Let us have a look at how the essay about drugs is built. Critical Course. This will hopefully give you an insight about how this type of essays are to be written. Besides, this is thesis, a very popular topic among students so if you are one of by cade essay lesson, them it is most likely you will have to statements, write an essay about global thematic drug addiction one day. At the same time, the drug abuse topic is quite complex. On the one hand, drugs were discovered to help people who suffer from pain. This makes drugs one of the tales thesis statements, most beneficial inventions ever made.
On the book reports on the, other hand, their use is not limited to medical treatment only; there are a lot of tales thesis statements, who use drugs “for fun”. Creative Critical Thinking. Such approach ultimately leads to serious health issues and devastation when referring to the families of drug addicts. Thesis Statements. These lines are to show that it is important to how do critical thinking and decision-making into play, know the subject of your topic prior to writing. Without understanding the canterbury tales thesis, key concepts of the critical thinking outline, subject, it is impossible to write a good essay. The word “drug” does not presume medication only. More commonly, it is referred to as the chemical compounds that are illegally sold, e.g. marijuana, ecstasy, heroin, etc.
Drugs make people feel ecstatic and canterbury tales statements, “high” during limited period of reports on the art of war, time. Usually, the “high” effect doesn’t last long. When it is all over, a drug addict feels sadness, frustration, senselessness as if life does not have its positive sides. However, every addict desires to continue experiencing the good stuff so one always feels the canterbury tales thesis, need to take a new drug dose again. The very moment when a person takes a second dose, he or she can be called an addict.
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Canterbury tales thesis statements - LinComm
The dowry tradition and how it relates to canterbury tales statements, today#039;s bride. Weddings (and the institution of critical into, marriage) have almost always been wrapped in tradition, so much so that people often become upset when a couple wants to canterbury tales, deviate from those usual wedding customs. The fact though is that many people would probably be appalled if they knew the roots of some of these traditions. Even if they are aware where these traditions come from, maybe they choose to reports on the art of war, forget it come wedding time. However, as an offbeat bride, I think it is especally important to statements, muse on old wedding customs.
At least when you tell people why you#039;ve made these decisions, you can explain the historical significance. For example, the responsibility of a bride#039;s parents to pay for a wedding. I#039;ve never been especially fond of book on the art of, this tradition, because I think in canterbury, some circumstances all it does is foster an attitude of entitlement in those brides who would condemn their parents for choosing not to finance their extravagant tastes. That, or parents end up killing themselves (figuratively!) trying to earn the essay human money for their child#039;s wedding out of tales thesis, a sense of on the war, obligation, whether it#039;s practical or not. Because hundreds of years ago, women were considered chattel and the bride#039;s family used to have to pay off the canterbury thesis statements groom#039;s family in the form of a dowry to take their daughters off their hands. After dowries went out of style, there was still the thesis autism trousseau (the bride#039;s dress and accouterments for the wedding, in thesis statements, addition to stuff like cake, etc.), usually hand prepared by the bride#039;s family. Now that we have wedding vendors to make cakes and dresses for us, the trousseau has also gone out of style for the most part, and instead the bride#039;s family just ponies up the cash. I don#039;t know about you, but the idea of my parents bribing someone to marry me makes me feel kind of sick. The idea of art of, them bankrupting themselves for one day is also kind of thesis statements, disheartening. I#039;d say it#039;s wonderful we#039;ve moved past those times, but obviously we haven#039;t if the creative critical expectation still stands that a couple#039;s parents are responsible for paying for their wedding, especially the parents of the bride.
We no longer live in the times where marriage was essentially a way to ensure that women were taken care of. Love wasn#039;t always a factor (and still isn#039;t, in some cultures). Teenage brides weren#039;t uncommon, because people just didn#039;t live as long. Girls who were practically still children themselves got married and started having children right away, because culture and religion dictated it be so. The dowry and trousseau were a necessity of those times, because they ensured that a groom would have the things he needed to support his new wife and their children to come. This is no longer the case, for the most part, as most couples who get married had acquired quite a lot of crap of canterbury thesis statements, their own-they don#039;t need the #034;starter kits#034; that couples used to need.
With every questionable-twist of the bambara toni lip, my matrimony-related-decision-making process, comes slightly un-done and I'm left asking myself; if the tales thesis decisions I'm making about our wedding. Read more. It#039;s one thing to accept offers of financial help from thesis statement autism, family. It#039;s another thing entirely to guilt them into it or solicit donations, or expect them to go over their own budget to satisfy your desires for the opulent. My general feeling is thesis, that if you want to get married, you ought to be adult enough to do so without expecting your family to foot the reports art of bill. I#039;m not saying that it#039;s abhorrent to allow your family to pay for your wedding — if they really want to do it, let them. What I am saying though is not all brides should expect their parents to foot the tales bill for your champagne tastes when you really ought to be working on a beer budget. If your dad works sixty hours a week just to pay their bills and you expect him to buy your wedding dress, maybe you need to shop at David#039;s Bridal instead of thesis autism, Kleinfeld#039;s. It#039;s one thing to accept offers of financial help from family.
It#039;s another thing entirely to guilt them into it or solicit donations, or expect them to go over their own budget to satisfy your desires for the opulent. If you want that crazy chocolate fondue fountain, start saving your pennies! You aren#039;t entitled to a fancy, extravagant wedding. Thesis! You may be entitled to get married, but no one owes you a TLC fancy schmancy wedding if you can#039;t afford to do it without exploiting your loved ones. Toni! Yeah, it#039;s nice if your family wants to help, but it#039;s not exactly reasonable to expect them to pay for your life choice (read: getting married).
If cost is such an issue, get thee to a courthouse and a justice of the peace, friend. Otherwise, learn to budget what you can actually afford. Sometimes, that might mean selecting an in season flower instead of the exotic orange blossoms you wanted, or getting married on canterbury tales, a Friday night instead of a Saturday afternoon. New York Global Thematic! This kind of sacrifice is really an important lesson, one that will serve you well as you enter into married life. In the end though, if you#039;re marrying your true love, it won#039;t matter if you spent $1,000 or $100,000 on your wedding because either way, you#039;re committing to the person you cherish the most and that is priceless. Get your daily dose of Offbeat AWESOME. Acbombshell is a graduate student, wrapping up my Master's in philosophy.
She's a strong atheist, passionate about J.P. Sartre, the Smiths, reproductive rights, body acceptance, tattoos, punk/goth music and reading. She and her fiance have been together for just over tales seven years and book reports on the art of war are getting married in tales, a Tim Burtonesque wedding on the Ocean City New Jersey boardwalk. AMEN! Love this post! I#039;m having a traditional Native American ceremony and it#039;s custom for critical the groom and his close male relatives to gift my mother at statements, the beginning of the wedding if she is book art of war, not satisfied she can refuse to let him marry me he has to canterbury thesis statements, keep going until he has her permission. i found this to be a great alternative to the father giving away the bride which goes back to the concept of critical thinking, women as property of the father then husband. A sweet nod to the old matriarchal ways one mother i know wouldn#039;t let the groom marry nothing was good enough until he played her a song on his flute to melt her heart and show his love for her daughter she wept and conceded.
I agree with what you say about dowries, and feeling kinda squeamish about one#039;s parents paying to get rid of their daughter. However let#039;s remember that in the original days of dowries, things were much different. Females started being considered #034;women#034; much much earlier because life spans were so much shorter – about statements 40 or so in the 1400-1500s (granted, this was due to poor/no medical care, diet, repeated pregnancies and their inherent dangers, disease etc). Essay Concerning Summary! As much as we dislike the idea now, a woman#039;s job was to thesis, help create heirs and run the reports art of household. Canterbury Thesis Statements! She didn#039;t bring in her own food or money, so her parents#039; dowry contribution eased the financial burden on the husband and by cade lesson family (not that the woman got a whole lot of canterbury thesis, credit for being the reason those extra cattle or piece of land came along).
That said, things are much different now and bambara by cade toni it does often feel like the practicality of the dowry tradition of yore has morphed into #034;you had a girl, mom and dad, so now it#039;s time to sign here and pay up!#034;, which is canterbury thesis statements, unfortunate. I need to give this to my mother. State Global Essays! If I hear one more time about canterbury thesis statements how my Dad #034;really should be contributing#034; to MY wedding because he is the father of the bride, I#039;m going to scream. Amazingly enough my Dad raised me to be an independent woman who worked hard to save up money with her fiance for HER wedding. Not that I would turn down free money, but I don#039;t expect a handout from anyone.
I#039;m done venting now, thank you for listening. #128578; I think the bride#039;s parents also end up footing the bill in this day and age because, let#039;s face it, there#039;s a LOT of moms out there who want to turn their daughter#039;s wedding into a bigger, fancier, 2.0 version of new york global regents thematic, their OWN wedding. I#039;ve also seen a few poisonous cases of Mom (and sometimes Dad) saying #034;you#039;ll do it my way or I#039;ll cut off the money#034;. Our parents weren#039;t like that, but still, paying for our own wedding was one of the best decisions we made. I totally agree and its soooo sad! Its not their wedding.
I know when my daughter#039;s get married if they want to pick a dress that I think os totally dreadful and ugly, im gonna smile and tell them they are gorgeous and that I am so happy for them! These are often moms who had their own weddings commandeered by their own mothers and thesis statements think it#039;s finally their turn to do it their way. What they really need is to do a big vows renewal. I#039;m just about to on the art of, run out and I#039;ll try to follow up but as a history person (MA in Early Modern European History) there appear to be some slightly wrong assumptions regarding family financials and marriage. Well at least regarding what is tales thesis, now the UK, and France. I#039;m re-reading a book on marriage in England from the late 17th century to essay human understanding reader, the early 19th and so far the word #039;dowry#039; is rare and family money is a class thing. Depending on the groom#039;s situation and canterbury thesis statements the bride#039;s family situation a bride could come in with nothing if her family was broke. Think daughters of broke clergymen. Anyway, we#039;re separated from the new york global regents essays world of canterbury tales thesis statements, Jane Austin by years and (in my case) space and critical and decision-making skills into play anything directly resembling dowries has been formed by other needs and situations of the intervening years. Yes, there are non-Western cultures that have dowries or bride prices and I#039;m sure those cultures have their own histories and reasons of why they do what they do.
Regarding, modern post-industrial UK, Canadian, NZ, American and like cultures I wonder how much of this brie#039;s family paying for tales the wedding expectations is wrapped up in class? For the critical poor in thesis, 17th-19th centuries, what mention of new york state regents thematic, weddings seem to be simple affairs, and factory girls brought their own earnings and savings to canterbury thesis statements, the marriage. Think Irish immigrants in Canada US who marry after leaving Ireland in the 19th C. Agreed that fancy weddings have more to do with class status than dowry. I#039;m pretty sure modern fancy ass weddings have their roots in middle class people emulating the autism weddings of wealthy socialites. I took a look in canterbury statements, my personal library and grabbed #034;A History of human understanding reader, Private Life, volume IV#034; edited by Michelle Perrot, translated by canterbury tales, Arthur Goldhammer. In France, in the 19th Century, among the wealthy and the bourgeois the purpose of the dowry was to allow the couple to live #034;in a style appropriate to art of, [their] rank rather than [their] income.#034; In other words it let the couple skip that young and canterbury tales statements broke and in love stage, well the broke part.
Also according to the book the trousseau accounted for 5% of the lesson dowry, and it was mainly clothing and canterbury thesis household linens, and from the description of these things it seems to be a middle class and upper class thing. I#039;ve heard that bridal showers are another off-shoot of the bambara essay lesson dowery tradition. They originated as a way for the friends and family of thesis, a bride to collect together a dowery for her when her father did not support the marriage or could not afford one. Although I#039;m not sure about reports on the art of this because showers do not exist in a lot of cultures where the dowery tradition does/did. I#039;ve always wondered how a dowery tradition worked alongside the opposite tradition of a bride price (where the groom would pay the brides family as compensation for canterbury tales thesis statements the loss of the creative outline womans labour). On the one hand yay for families who found themselves getting paid when they expected to thesis statements, pay but it must have caused some issues if for example a woman from a culture/region which practiced bride prices wanted to marry a man from bambara, a culture with a dowery tradition. Back to modern times and tales thesis statements my own wedding maybe I should show this to my parents as I#039;m actually having the opposite problem. They not only want to pay, they want to pay almost everything and want to spend more than we had intended. Art Of War! I have nothing against them contributing, our policy has always been we#039;ll have whatever kind of wedding we can with whatever money is avaliable, but it#039;s kind of rediculous when I#039;m having an argument with mum one day because she wants to hire a florist and I want to DIY arrangements with market bought flowers and the next day I catch my parents wondering if they should take out a loan to help fund the thesis wedding! I#039;m the eldest of 4 girls and my parents told all of us that they would help us pay for colllege -OR- a wedding, but not both.
Of the 3 of us who are college-aged or older, we#039;ve all chosen college, and honestly, I#039;m glad they did it. Thesis Statement Autism! I am not yet engaged, but if/when the canterbury time comes, I think we#039;ll be happy to have the freedom of monetary control (at least on my side of the family. Creative Course! His side jokes about a #034;surprise shotgun wedding#034;, so who knows, lol.) This is canterbury tales statements, one of the best posts I#039;ve read. You are totally honest about this stuff, where I#039;ve seen people tiptoe around it in other places. My parents did pay, but man we tried to cut down prices wherever we could and made most everything and potlucked it and you know what? It was f***ing AWESOME. In victorian England, the dowry paid by the brides family formed part of her inheritance (upper classes only) and meant she inherited less (or nothing at all) compared to her unmarried sisters when her parents died. My opinion is toni, this, The average age of marriage in tales thesis statements, the uk is now 25, 100 years ago it was 18. 100 years before that you were considered an old maid if not married by 25 (see pride and statement autism prejudice!).
Getting married that young would require a parental contrabution, because you wouldn#039;t be able to tales statements, work yourself, and you#039;d be barely more than a child, still living at home with your parents. Book On The! These days, if you#039;re 25 you#039;re an adult in your own right. Canterbury Tales! You probably don#039;t live at thinking outline, home, and if you do, you probably don#039;t live off mother and fathers money. If that#039;s the case, why should your parents pay for your wedding? you#039;ve left home! you#039;re an adult! #034;You aren#039;t entitled to a fancy, extravagant wedding. Thesis Statements! You may be entitled to get married, but no one owes you a TLC fancy schmancy wedding if you can#039;t afford to do it without exploiting your loved ones.
Yeah, it#039;s nice if your family wants to help, but it#039;s not exactly reasonable to expect them to pay for your life choice (read: getting married).#034; I love this! Thank you for being so honest. I attended a huge wedding a couple of years ago that was absolutely dripping in money. Thinking Course! I complemented the bride on her dress and her response was #034; thank you! It cost A?6000!#034; This is tales thesis statements, fine if you have A?6000 to spend on your dress but the couple were asking for money in lieu of gifts! We were so uncomfortable with all the extravagance and money that had obviously been spent when the couple claimed to be so broke they needed money from guests. I had to question where the new york state global regents essays money had come from for the wedding and tales thesis statements which poor soul was footing the bill. #034;If your dad works sixty hours a week just to new york state global thematic, pay their bills and you expect him to buy your wedding dress, maybe you need to shop at David#039;s Bridal instead of Kleinfeld#039;s.#034; — Or maybe that person should just not expect Dad to tales thesis, pay for essay understanding anything.
It is the attitude of entitlement that bugs me, the My parents SHOULD pay for this. If your parents gift you money for the wedding, that is awesome, but no one should expect money from them. Thanks for pointing this out. The fact that dowries functioned not as a bribe but as a way to tales thesis, settle property on the next generation is particularly important, I think, because it highlights the connection between the social arrangements that gave rise to practices (like dowries) that we now find strange and objectionable and more modern issues like workplace inequality and pay gaps. I#039;d also note that a lot of the traditions discussed above were more honored in thesis autism, the breach than in thesis statements, the observance– there is ample evidence of women (at least in thesis statement autism, late medieval England, my own area of specialty) who had children before marriage, who eloped, who married partners of their choosing, who in canterbury tales thesis statements, custom if not in title controlled their own property. And when women, mostly of the upper classes, were forced to marry against their will, they often went down swinging, fighting tooth and nail (at times successfully) to be masters of their own fate.
In short: while there#039;s a host of problematic issues surrounding the institution of marriage and its practice in critical course outline, Western European and USAmerican society, today#039;s offbeat brides should take heart in the fact that there#039;s a whole history of offbeat brides who come before them, ready and eager to canterbury thesis, throw wrenches into the cogs of patriarchy. (Also, re the life expectancy thing: that figure is a mean not a median. If you made it out of childhood and past about 35–past childbearing/war fighting/agricultural-accident having age– you were likely to see 65 or so. Bambara Toni! /nerd) Thanks for distinguishing between mean and median. Canterbury Tales Thesis! Everyone always talks about #034;average life expectancy#034; in essay concerning summary epistle, periods when childhood deaths skewed the averages a lot, which I think confuses a lot of people. But wheres the fun of canterbury thesis, statistics if you can#039;t skew them in favour of the result you want?
If you#039;re gonna be honest about it you may as well use boring old facts! Also, please remember that not all dowries were created equal. Regents Essays! For instance, in the Jewish tradition, the dowry for the female was to make sure that if anything happened (divorce, death) she could be independent and not have to canterbury, rely on creative critical course outline, say, a cheating husband. Tales Thesis Statements! A bride price was also paid by the groom (WHICH SHE GOT TO KEEP)which served a similar purpose and was usually given as a form of jewelery (to ensure she kept it). In a weird way, it was kind of statement, like marriage insurance. I think this is a very important post. The author clearly shares my exasperation with the entitlement and #034;ITS MY DAY#034; attitude that surrounds wedding culture.
The situation does not always play out as above where the princess bride makes unreasonable demands on canterbury thesis, her poor parents, however. I think it is important to note also that many times parents can use money as a source of control over the wedding. As my parents are fond of saying #034;The person who controls the money has the power.#034; This was meant as a caution to my sister and book reports I to make our own way and support ourselves. That being said, they are eager to canterbury thesis, pay for thinking skills come into play our weddings. Neither of us are actually engaged yet and they are already telling us where we can and cannot get married. My dad has gone as far as to canterbury statements, say he does not want future in-laws contributing to the wedding cost because he does not want them to have say in important wedding decisions. He has also said that weddings are the parents party and that they will allocate a certain number of guests we will be able to essay concerning human understanding summary epistle reader, invite to canterbury, our own weddings.
My mom#039;s parents paid for critical thinking and decision-making skills into play my parents#039; wedding and planned the whole thing. When I finally decide to get married I plan to do my best to pay for it myself. I absolutely love my parents and I want my relationship with them to be based on that, not on financial control. It may not seem very reassuring now but I think you#039;re lucky you#039;ve heard all this in advance. I#039;ve seen many people on this site and others who#039;s parents had exactly the canterbury statements same attitude but didn#039;t think to mention it until after the money had been offered (apparently with no strings attatched), accepted and spent. I think you#039;re making absolutely the right decision in wanting to pay for critical skills come into it yourself! Some may disagree but something in this rubs me the thesis wrong way. I am bothered by a generation of people who had their educations and weddings paid for who now pass on this $100,000 burden to their young-adult children and then justify their actions using words like entitled, spoiled, lavish, wasteful or irresponsible. They (and the groom#039;s family) are the established parties in the picture, and while there is no reason to bambara essay toni, throw down a princess wedding at your daughters whim, it seems selfish to not contribute at canterbury tales thesis, all when means are present. I agree to new york regents thematic essays, some extent, but I think it really depends on the people involve and their situation. There are so many variables these days that having any overall rules doesn#039;t really work.
Just like not all weddings are paid for by the canterbury tales statements parents not all engaged couples are broke and just starting out. Many people are getting married later in life when they already have a good career and earn as much as, sometimes more than, their parents. There is no reason someone in essay concerning human understanding, that situation would need their parents to pay for the wedding. It also depends on who wants what. Just like it isn#039;t fair for canterbury statements a bride to demand her parents pony up money they don#039;t have for her extravagant dream wedding it#039;s also not fair for family to essay toni, put pressure on a couple to have a bigger, grander wedding than they would have chosen and then leave them to pay for it. I, too, am rubbed the wrong way.
Most women don#039;t throw $100,000 weddings to have a special princess day no matter what mommy and daddy can afford. In fact, I sort of doubt that there are any women that do that. Most women work as well within their budget constraints as they can, which is extremely difficult when up against the WIC image of an acceptable wedding and statements familial pressure. I#039;m confused by #034; I am bothered by a generation of creative course, people who had their educations and weddings paid for who now pass on this $100,000 burden to canterbury tales thesis, their young-adult children and essay concerning human summary epistle reader then justify their actions using words like entitled, spoiled, lavish, wasteful or irresponsible.#034; $100K is statements, that a typo? Heck my weddings, and two graduate degrees combined don#039;t cost that much. The burden is one conceived in one#039;s mind. Book On The Art Of! A wedding to be valid just needs a license and a JoP.
I know where you can get that for tales thesis under $100 bucks. It is sad that we#039;ve bought into this idea that we#039;ve got to course, put on tales thesis, a small Hollywood production, even more sad when we say parent are obligated to fund these elaborate shows, when they should be funding retirements and critical long term care. I could be wronf but I think the article is saying just that. That its ok to have help but if your parents are struggling to tales statements, get by you shouldn#039;t be throwing a tantrum from the bling bling you want. Very true! Sadly my parents and I got into a HUGE argument about how they believed that my FH (now husband) was obligated to critical thinking course outline, pay for an expensive engagement ring to canterbury thesis statements, #034;prove how much he loves me. Global! Marriage is an investment.#034; The whole thing was absolutely appalling to me. I agree!
My husband spent $400 on a lovely engagement band for me, studded with tiny diamonds and sapphires. And it was EXACTLY what I wanted—no huge stone sticking up that would catch on tales statements, things. And sapphires. Book Reports On The! My parents thought he was cheap. I thought he was amazing and canterbury tales thesis statements thoughtful for book art of getting me what I wanted instead of tales thesis statements, something to #034;impress#034; everyone. In fact, I picked out the band myself.
I know exactly how you feel! I picked out a $60 ring from walmart that I loved! I also felt ot didnt matter what it cost it was about the significance! My fella actually spent more on a much bigger and beautiful ring that I also love but I would have been just as happy with the Walmart ring. Enjoyed reading this–good to get info on traditions in concerning summary, the post comments! I#039;m glad this discussion is statements, opening up – my situation is such that, to afford the wedding that I and my huge, loving, extended family both want, my parents will contribute. They have generously offered to pay a certain amount. A wedding may be legally sufficient if it is before a Justice of the Peace, but if we just had a JOP wedding or eloped, we would deny our families the chance to see us married, which would hurt them and us. I understand that this is not true of everyone, and respect differences, but implying that all women who don#039;t pay for their own weddings are spoiled is very hurtful to future brides and grooms who are working hard but still won#039;t be able to afford the wedding that they and their families dream of.
I#039;m not saying that those who desire a small wedding should be forced into a big production because of their families, but the reverse is also true – if it is important to the family and it is what the couple wants, and there is bambara lesson, clear communication between the parents and canterbury thesis statements the couple regarding control and style, and mindfulness instead of blind acceptance of tradition, it seems to me that there is critical outline, nothing intrinsically wrong with accepting help. If the thesis statements contribution would damage the critical relationship between parents and canterbury tales thesis daughter because of control issues on either side, thataˆ™s another situation altogether. I have to say, I don#039;t think I#039;ve ever met a bride like ones described in this post. Essay Epistle! I#039;ve met a lot more whose parents insist that they have the #034;right kind#034; of wedding (see also, in a church, with a white dress, for $10,000 or more) and refuse to foot the bill for any of it, or will pay for something, but only canterbury if they get total control over how the concerning epistle money is spent. I think a lot of social pressure (in America, anyway) has been put on the parents to provide a huge, overblown, fairytale wedding. Tales Thesis! It#039;s not just a hyperbolic gesture of success and critical thinking outline good wishes for the newlyweds, it#039;s a very real sign of canterbury thesis, affluence and disposable income. Being able to feed 200 people, rent a mansion, pay for a Vera Wang dress, and import a thousand free-range doves to release in glorious flight as the couple takes their first walk down the aisle is a heck of a way to spend $10,000… and a lot more visible than just giving the new couple a check for concerning human summary epistle a new house, or setting up a trust for thesis future offspring to how do critical and decision-making into, spend on college tuition. The pressure parents feel to provide a perfect WIC-style wedding isn#039;t just because they want to relive their own, but better. They also feel pressure to canterbury, display their love and approval of the couple tangibly to the social group. Where I come from, it#039;s a bit crass to say #034;I gave my daughter a check for 10 grand for her wedding present!#034; It#039;s much more polite to host a huge wedding, visibly displaying your wealth, and creative critical thinking course not mention the pricetag at tales statements, all. After all, you don#039;t need to.
I think, as future newlyweds, it#039;s our responsibility not only to limit our expectations, but to learn how to show appreciation, make suggestions, find middle grounds, and even flat-out say #034;Thank you, but NO.#034; to well-intentioned parents. My mother got this in the worst way; Her Mother-in-law was demanding a HUGE fancy affair, but wasn#039;t paying a dime because #034;it#039;s the global regents essays bride#039;s family who has to pay#034; she even invited 285 more people to statements, the wedding, who in turn brought their friends and kids (it was adults only). My mother spent her wedding night crying and barfing as the vendor scolded her relentlessly and my maternal grandparents debated on whether or not to take out another mortgage. Stories like this scared me completely shitless when I first got engaged, but luckily I have amazing future in-laws who immediately asked #034;What can we do? How can we help? Can I please come to a dress fitting?#034; They are so cool.
Just in case, grandma on dad#039;s side isn#039;t being told a thing until it#039;s way too late for her to interfere. Real interesting article. Creative! Made me second think the fact that my Mother will be paying for most of tales thesis, this wedding. I didn#039;t ask for thinking outline it or expect it, but when she heard we were considering eloping, she couldn#039;t stand the thought. Canterbury Statements! Hopefully there#039;s not too many strings attached!
Also, there seems to be this mentality among academics that dowries were purely given to #034;rid#034; the family of an unwanted female child, while this may have been the case for and decision-making skills come play some, I find it highly unlikely it was the canterbury tales case for all, and in my peoples tradition, it was always a parting gift for book war the father to throw a bridal party, a way of showing his pride and appreciation for his daughter and tales thesis statements his hopes for her future happiness. I find it hard to bambara essay toni, be offended when it is looked at in this sort of canterbury, light. My husband is new york state regents thematic essays, one of 3 children and has both a brother and thesis a sister. When we got married, my mother paid for the majority of the wedding expenses and his parents gave us what amounted to about 25%. We didn#039;t ask for any help but we#039;re flat broke so all the parents knew that if they wanted anything approximating a traditional wedding they#039;d have to pitch in. One of the interesting issues the financing of the wedding brought up was the bambara essay toni question of tales thesis statements, fairness between siblings. My husband#039;s parents feel that their children should be financially independent and have generally discouraged their kids from asking them for bambara essay money. They also strive to treat all of their children equally. As it is, my husband is tales thesis statements, already the statement autism most financially independent of the 3 siblings because at least he can afford his living expenses and does not have a boatload of debt. We wonder whether his parents will offer his sister the same amount they offered us if she gets married.
Honestly, if they offer her more, I think it would be very difficult for my husband, or anyone else for that matter, not to feel slighted. Most of the discussion here has revolved around the thesis statements historical mistreatment of women, but from thesis, my standpoint, I am seeing how the current norm of the bride#039;s parents being primarily responsible for wedding expenses can also be a big middle finger to men, as though a son#039;s marriage is not as important. This is very close to my heart. As far as I was concerned if my partner and tales thesis statements I were mature enough to get married, we were mature enough to pay for it ourselves – why should our decision have such massive ramifications for others? In the end, we eloped. Problem was his parents decided afterwards they wanted to give us money as a gift. Then when they learned that my parents didn#039;t (um, she#039;s a single mum and he#039;s a neglectful father why should/would they?) his parents become quite indignant. To this day, it is still an issue. I completely agree with this, however I have my own story.
When my hubs and I started planning, we asked both sets of parents if they#039;d like to thesis, contribute and tales thesis they both agreed to the same amount. (1/4 of the budget for each). Later however, it became like pulling teeth to get the money out of his parents, and we didn#039;t end up getting the entire amount anyway, causing us to have to take out a loan for the final balance. Book Reports! We couldn#039;t necessarily drop parts of the wedding at the point, deposits had been put down, things had been ordered, etc. So NOW, 2 months later I hear that his parents are paying for his sister#039;s ENTIRE Long Island wedding, with will be double the size of canterbury tales statements, ours. WTF. Did their son not deserve the same? It makes me so angry and yet my hubs acts like it#039;s no big deal. I really didn#039;t see anything in this post heading in thesis statement autism, the direction of what happened in my family, but I agree with Crystal in regards to the groom#039;s side. Thesis! (Though, like I said, I#039;m going off on another tangent.) When my sister got married, my parents were able to pay for half, and asked her fiance#039;s parents to pay the other half. I was stunned at their medieval attitude; they were offended to be asked to pay anything for their son#039;s wedding, thinking the bride#039;s family should pick up the whole tab.
I understand the history and tradition, but really? Is it really *only* the skills come bride#039;s day? I could have sworn there were two people saying vows. What#039;s so awful about a 50/50 split(whether it#039;s parents, the betrothed, or a combination of the like)? Seems like the right way to canterbury thesis statements, start a marriage to me. That was probably the state thematic essays best article I#039;ve ever read about the epistomology of canterbury tales thesis, weddings.
I#039;m Australian and book on the war getting married in Russia. Interestingly enough, while the tradition is for the brides family to be a majority contributor initially, The wedding celebration is filled with games in canterbury tales thesis, which guests. read ALL guests, are to contribute money to participate. How Do Thinking And Decision-making Into Play! The more guests you invite, the more money your likely to tales thesis statements, get. You usually spend about half of the money your expecting to get. So, your wedding gets paid for AND your #039;dowry#039; covered by all your friends and relatives. Better each guest hand over $500+ in game event money than your parents pay $50,000+ for a single. Stops the creative critical thinking concept of wedding crashers.. unless they feel ok paying $500 each for some strangers wedding. Different culture, different rules.. but interesting. That IS interesting and reminds me of the weddings where they pin money on the bride#039;s gown. Canterbury Tales Thesis! Can#039;t remember if it is a Greek or Italian tradition.
My fiance#039;s family are Lithuanian American and I#039;m already incorporating some of the Lithuanian #034;dowry#034; type traditions into critical thinking skills come into play, our ceremony including the giving of gifts of cloth. With regard the dowry tradition in general I just think it#039;s nobody#039;s business who pays for our wedding OR what traditions we follow or why. Canterbury Thesis Statements! I figure most engaged couples have enough to contend from the how do critical thinking come into WIC and their family and friends, work colleagues and tales random strangers…ALL of whom seem to spend a good deal of thesis autism, time offering unsolicited advice and dire warnings and judgements. WHO knew there was going to thesis, be so many freakin#039; opinions on something that ultimately isn#039;t anybody else#039;s business? If someone out bambara toni, there has Daddy pay $200,000 for their wedding and he#039;s prepared to do it and the couple are prepared to canterbury tales, go along with it, well good for them! It#039;s none of my business. For all I know the new york state global essays bride may very well be entitled to a slap up wedding from her parents.
Who knows what kind of dynamic has gone on in the relationship up to this point? AND who cares? I know I#039;ve got enough on thesis statements, my plate as it is just trying to negotiate this 3 ringed circus side show of freaks we got going on ourselves. Thesis Statement Autism! If I#039;ve managed to wrap my feminist brain around the canterbury thesis statements idea of creative critical thinking course, agreeing to marry in the first place then the canterbury tales thesis statements dowry and global regents essays all the previous chattel type traditions that applied to women are the least of my worries. I#039;m just grateful to be marrying my person in a place that recognizes marriage equality and canterbury tales thesis statements where I don#039;t have to hear about statement autism God. Having to rely on him and be more of a house frau for the foreseable future is going to be much harder to wrap my head around than Mum Dad forking out thesis statements, cash for the Aussie party. That was probably the best article I#039;ve ever read about the epistomology of weddings. I just would like to point out that the idea of a dowry was not in book on the, all cultures seen as a bribe just as women in some cultures where not seen as chattel . Though a lot of canterbury tales thesis, cultures did treat women as second class citizens there were also some that viewed women as cherished and provided a dowry as a way of by cade lesson, ensuring that the woman that they were giving to canterbury tales statements, another household would be looked after properly. That being said I do see how the cultures that used bride price as a way to get rid of the statement burden of thesis statements, taking care of their daughters could be seemingly still present as the ideal that a woman needs a man to car for her is still prevalent but again I think it is thinking course outline, a matter of culture. Catholic church NOT very accomodating with when they will marry young couples. Just another reason to tales statements, stay away.
I think a lot of it comes down to communication. Thesis Statement Autism! Initially my fiance and canterbury tales statements I thought we#039;d be paying for it all ourselves but my mother expressed an interest in wanting to new york regents thematic essays, help pay for it. I told her that she was under no obligation and that we were grateful for tales thesis whatever she was willing to contribute. To her, it#039;s one final gift she can give me before I start a new life. This also means my mother is summary epistle reader, having opinions about the wedding. Luckily, I am doing a bulk of the planning myself so I get to make a lot of the decisions. However, I find that inviting her to venue tours and thesis statements the like helps her feel like she#039;s part of the process because she can share her thoughts with me. A huge part of being at thesis statement autism, peace with parental-contributions stem from being grateful and appreciative. My mother offered, unsolicited, and that means so much more than if I were to ever ask her. Funny, I may be wrong but I don#039;t have the tales statements feeling that this is a tradition in Portugal. It#039;s rather a tradition that the thinking and decision-making skills come play parents of both bride and groom pay for the wedding.
So much so, that traditional invitations in statements, Portugal are #034;names of groom#039;s parents + names of bride#039;s parents invite you to book reports on the, their children#039;s wedding#034; We always hated this because in cases where the parents have different life conditions or are not willing to statements, contribute, it becomes very noticeable who has the most money, and that#039;s kind of sad. The most exaggerated case we had was a couple of friends where the bride#039;s parents were loaded while the groom#039;s parents had less money, more children and less willingness in general to participate in their son#039;s life. The groom payed for his side, but he didn#039;t have a lot. So the thesis autism bride had 400 guests and the groom had 30!
There have been so many cases of #034;I#039;m paying so you#039;re doing it my way#034; that I believe what is becoming traditional now in thesis statements, Portugal is to have smaller weddings payed by the bride and groom. If the parents want to critical thinking and decision-making skills come into play, offer a money gift to help with the expense they do (mine did, thank the Lord). There#039;s a type of modern financial exchange associated with marriage that wasn#039;t mentioned here: the statements mahr. (A price paid as part of nikah, a marriage in accordance with Islam.) It#039;s a sum paid either before the how do critical come into marriage or at some delayed point by the husband, to the wife. It remains her personal property, to do with as she likes. Thesis! It#039;s non-negotiable, too: the agreement on mahr amount is actually part of the marriage contract. Personally, I actually think the mahr is a wonderful tradition: it acknowledges that marriage can be a risky proposition for women, financially, and thus has the purpose of taking care of her financially, should the marriage end in lesson, death or divorce.
Personally I don#039;t like the tales thesis idea of preparing for failure via. a mahr any more than the assumed presumption that bride#039;s family pays all. Bambara By Cade Essay Lesson! Archaic all. We paid for everything, even split and live happily ever after. The tradition of having the canterbury tales statements bride#039;s family pay for the wedding is rooted in some truly distasteful notions. Basically, back in the day = which isnt the too distant past actually, women weren’t allowed to creative critical outline, live on their own, work outside the thesis home, or own property. Bambara! So, an unmarried daughter was essentially considered a serious burden, especially on families living at or near the canterbury thesis statements subsistence level.
To remove this burden, her family would essentially pay a man to marry her, to get this burden off of the parents#039; hands while at the same time offering the human summary epistle reader man his own private maid whom he could beget to produce children and who would cook and clean for him while he was out there making money and doing all the things women werent allowed to. That said I am against the idea of canterbury tales, anyone#039;s parents being obliged or asked to by cade lesson toni, pay for their children#039;s wedding. Canterbury Thesis! Now some people have obscene amounts of money and throwing lavish weddings just goes hand in hand with their lifestyles. I mean why else have all that money if you arent going to spend it on critical course outline, such things? But in cases where the parents arent wealthy, I dont think they should feel obligated to shell out even a penny to finance the wedding. In fact, I dont even think the bride and canterbury statements groom should be wasting tens of thousands of dollars on into, one day of party and celebration. I am always amazed at how much money, right at the beginning of tales, their lives together, a couple waste on a wedding. Imagine all that can be done with 10,000 or 20,000 or maybe even 50,000 dollars that some people spend on their weddings. Some of this money is a down payment for the house or could buy you a trip around the globe or furniture for your new home.
Why blow it on autism, a wedding? The reason we are even having this discussion is canterbury statements, because the cost – and with it expectations of – weddings have gone up so much, it#039;s becoming a major expense that people need to #034;deal with#034; now. Remember back in the day the money was paid not so much for by cade toni the festivities but as a cash sum to the groom. Now it is canterbury tales thesis statements, all going into festivities and for what? Essentially a party.
Is that really worth tens of thousands of dollars? is it worth to burden your parents who are likely retirement age? Or yourselves at the beginning of your lives where such a big chunk of money could come in very handy when you are building your lives together? Big weddings are a waste of money and no matter how many Hollywood romance movies you have seen and how much that has sucked you in, think about whether you really want to go down that route and burden yourself and your loved ones with such ridiculous expenses. The dowry and essay lesson trousseau were a necessity of those times, because they ensured that a groom would have the things he needed to support his new wife and tales their children to come. Why were only the bride#039;s parents forced to #034;ensure that a groom would have the things he needed..#034;? Why weren#039;t the groom#039;s parents asked to reports art of, contribute?
And while the groom may work outside the bride is not allowed to earn, do you think that all the hard work that the bride did at home is of no value? And wasn#039;t giving birth to thesis statements, children (almost like one child in a year.. after getting used by the groom whenever he itches, without any consideration about her state of health) a high risk, extremely painful part of the #034;family life#034; that is shouldered solely by concerning understanding summary, the bride? On top of all this, someone has the heart to demand money from her. Revolting. Join the conversation Cancel Reply. Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy. Please just use your real name in canterbury, your comment, not your business name or blog title. Our comments are not the place to pimp your website. If you want to art of, promote your stuff on Offbeat Bride, join us as an canterbury thesis statements advertiser instead. A few of our favorite wedding vendors.
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Advantages And Drawbacks Of 'Accordion Families' In sociologist Katherine Newman's new book, The Accordion Family , she argues that globalization and tales weak economies have caused households to expand and incorporate grandparents, parents and children under one roof. How Do Critical And Decision-making Skills Into Play? Host Michel Martin speaks with Newman and two other women who live in multi-generational homes. Tales Thesis? MICHEL MARTIN, HOST: I'm Michel Martin and this is TELL ME MORE from NPR News. They say it takes a village to raise a child, but maybe you just need a few moms in your corner. Every week, we check in with a diverse group of essay concerning reader parents for their common sense and savvy parenting advice. Now, you might have heard stories about adult children moving back in canterbury tales thesis statements with their parents or grandparents coming to essays stay with their children. Well, according to the Pew Research Center, one in canterbury thesis six Americans now lives in new york thematic a household like that. Tales Thesis Statements? That's more than a 10 percent increase since 2007.
So, today, we thought we would like to talk about the blessings and the challenges of these multigenerational living arrangements. We're joined now by Katherine Newman. She's the author of concerning epistle reader a new book. It's just out today called The Accordion Family. She's a sociology professor at Johns Hopkins University. She's also the canterbury tales, mom of essay human understanding summary epistle reader a 22-year-old son who's living at thesis home. Welcome.
Thanks so much for joining us. KATHERINE NEWMAN: Nice to be with you. MARTIN: Also with us, Elizabeth Fox. Thinking Come Play? She's the mother of two and grandmother of two. Canterbury Tales? Her daughter's family moved in with her six years ago. Welcome. ELIZABETH FOX: Thank you.
Great to meet you. MARTIN: And Rebecca Aguilar is the mom of one teenaged son. Her father-in-law has lived with her family for the past 10 years. How Do Critical Thinking Into Play? Nice to hear from you, too. Thesis Statements? REBECCA AGUILAR: Hi there. Creative Critical Course? MARTIN: Well, Katherine Newman, let's start with you.
Your book comes out today. What is an accordion family? I mean, for a lot of people, that's just normal, isn't it? NEWMAN: Well, it hasn't been normal for quite some time, but basically, an accordion family is a multigenerational household in which you have adult children over the age of 21 living with their parents. And, actually, that has not been the norm in the middle class for some time. It would have been the canterbury tales thesis, norm before the Second World War, but it really hasn't been for thinking skills come into play some time now. MARTIN: And what is driving that? NEWMAN: . with the economic difficulties that young people find themselves in. MARTIN: Yeah.
Tell us a little bit more about that. I interrupted you. It's just - this is relatively recent because of the economy, which seems to be hitting younger people, younger workers very hard. NEWMAN: Exactly. Tales Thesis Statements? Now, that said, it's actually a trend that's been in creative thinking course outline play for some time now, so it's not unique to the recession we've been mired in.
But, really, ever since about the early 1980s, we've seen a pretty steady increase in the proportion of young people of this age group that have been either moving back with their parents or who don't leave in the first place. And that's mainly because the economy has been changing in ways that make it difficult for young people to find entry level employment that really pays enough for them to be independent. As well in the middle class, where we see ambitions for professional futures, it takes longer and longer and tales statements more and thesis statement autism more money to tales statements achieve the kind of statement educational credentials needed to launch a middle class professional life. So we see young people who complete college and canterbury thesis statements move back in with their parents in and decision-making skills play order to shelter those costs of the master's degree or experience with an internship where they're not earning any money at all in the hopes of statements launching at a higher level when they get a bit older. How Do Critical Thinking Come Into? MARTIN: Elizabeth Fox, you actually call your home project intergenerational living.
Tell us a little bit more about that. How was it decided that your daughter and her family would move back in canterbury thesis statements with you? FOX: Well, unlike some of book what Katherine mentioned, both our children got as far away as they could after college. They were 15 years out in California, but our daughter and her family, when they had children, basically, decided to come east and started with us. And after a few months, we said, you don't really need to look for a house way out there in the burbs where you could afford it. Stay here. And that's what happened. MARTIN: And there was no - it sounds so smooth.
Was it really that smooth? FOX: It was a pretty smooth transition there. It just - you know, we were able to share the tales, costs of renovating the house somewhat so everyone had some privacy and we were bonded with the grandchildren by concerning human understanding summary epistle reader then and all of the benefits were starting to come. MARTIN: Okay. Canterbury Tales? Rebecca Aguilar, how about you?
You have a teenager and state regents thematic essays an 84 year old in the same house. How did that arrangement come about? AGUILAR: Well, we kind of canterbury tales thesis statements started talking about it a long time ago when I married my husband. We were living in Los Angeles and by cade my father-in-law would come and visit with my mother-in-law and I just adored him because, you know, every time I'd leave for canterbury thesis work, I'd come back and creative critical thinking outline here's this huge lasagna dinner and canterbury tales statements I'm thinking, I need this man in my life. And so we would take these long walks. It was great. Human Epistle? And I'd always say, hey, Pops - that's what I call him, Pops.
I was like, if anything ever happens to Betty, I want you to move in canterbury tales thesis statements with us. And he's like, you're crazy. On The? I go, no. I really do. And I kind of wanted him to move in before Mom - my mother - moved in, but anyway - and canterbury tales thesis so what happened is, sure enough, unfortunately, my mother passed away in 2001 and I said, Pops, you know, if you want to essay concerning human move in with us - you know, I didn't want him to be alone. I live in canterbury thesis statements Texas and he lived in Long Island and I didn't want him to by cade lesson be alone. And I'm Mexican-American, so both my parents - their families took in thesis their parents. So it's kind of a cultural thing with us, too. So we, in our family, my brothers, sisters, we had already talked about who's going to take in our parents. It's just part of our culture. And so my father-in-law moved in creative thinking course and it's been the best.
It has been - my 15-year-old adores him. They do a lot of things together. It's rebuilt the relationship between his son and canterbury tales statements himself because, you know, I mean they didn't really talk a lot when they were under the same roof and bambara lesson now, you know, they're recapturing that time, and tales thesis it's wonderful and he's great. I'm a reporter by profession, so when I have to critical thinking skills go out of town I, you know, I trust my father-in-law. I trust that my father-in-law is in good hands with my 15-year-old and my 15-year-old is in good hands with my 84-year-old father-in-law. Tales? MARTIN: If you're just joining us, you're listening to TELL ME MORE from NPR News. We're talking about multigenerational living. We're talking about the war, challenges and canterbury blessings of having grandparents, parents, adult children, all under one roof - teenagers, kids. We're talking with Rebecca Aguilar, that's was speaking just now.
Her household includes her husband, teenage son and father-in-law. Thesis? Elizabeth Fox is also with us. Her daughter and grandchildren lives with her. And also with us, Katherine Newman, sociology professor at Johns Hopkins University. Her new book is called, The Accordion Family, where she talks about canterbury tales statements this. Now Prof. Newman, I'm not investigating for pain here, but that the state global thematic essays, families who - the moms we're speaking with, this has worked out nicely.
It seems to be a wonderful arrangement that just provides a sense of kind of mutual, you know, support. But I'm thinking for some people there's probably some shame attached to this. You can see a scenario where the arrangement isn't as welcome. Can you describe a little bit of canterbury tales thesis statements that? I know you talk about that in the book. What are the circumstances in which this doesn't seem to be working out as well? NEWMAN: It's more complicated in households where the young person who's joined - rejoined the family - isn't making progress toward a more independent future.
If Johnny is playing videogames in the basement and seems to be avoiding the hard choices and difficult aspects of growing up and taking his place ultimately in some adult role, then that can be a source of real frustration. Or if the young people in the house aren't pulling their own weight, if they expect to be treated or cared for as they did when they were little children, that can get to be frustrating for their parents, especially if both parents are working for essay concerning reader a living. So, you know, I'm actually pleased to say that much of the time this works out exceptionally well, as has been described by tales thesis statements your guests. How Do And Decision-making Into? Because in many accordion families, the return of the young adult provides an opportunity for parents to get to know their children as equals or as something closer to equals because they subtract out all of those onerous responsibilities for surveillance. You know, is canterbury tales thesis, Mary home at midnight? What is Johnny doing at two in the morning? All those, you know, are they getting their homework done? Those are the concerning understanding reader, kinds of canterbury tales statements questions that they had to entertain when those young people were teenagers and the official responsibility of their parents. But if they return at the age of critical course 23 or 24, they're a little bit more like autonomous adults, a little bit more like roommates or boarders with a lot of affection thrown in on the side. And for baby boom parents who worked their way through their children's childhood and tales adolescence, they may not have had as much time with them as they would like.
And so when those young people return as more independent, not completely independent clearly, but more independent adults, maybe even contributing to the household - as is book reports, true for your guests, then it can be a very pleasurable experience, as long as it looks like it's got an canterbury thesis statements endpoint in reports art of war which everyone assumes the thesis, roles that society assigns to them, which includes a degree of autonomy and self-determination and thinking outline responsibility for that young adult. Tales Statements? MARTIN: Well, Elizabeth, that's interesting because your arrangement doesn't have an endpoint. FOX: No. We all went into creative critical course this the canterbury statements, idea that it's forever. And I would say that if you look at some of the on the art of war, reasons why people do this, most often it is canterbury tales thesis, economic. We do have financial savings for creative thinking our housing costs, which we share 50-50.
And for my husband and me that was a substantial savings - and for them as well, they can live in a better place, better location; not commute and all that. But I think that the strains would be great if you are one of the canterbury statements, many people in this circumstance who are really barely, barely making it. I think that financial constraints are just, you know, huge if you're sharing them with more people who are in that situation. The other thing is that if you as a grandparent did not respect your children's parenting that would be very hard for all of you, and that's not at all the case with us, fortunately. MARTIN: How does dinner work out? How do you do dinner? FOX: Oh, you hit on the one strain - the kitchen. You know about group homes, those who've lived in essay concerning human understanding summary epistle reader groups? It's kind of the thesis statements, same, you know, but we're pretty highly scheduled. We have a calendar up on our computers and, you know, who's doing the dinners and who's doing the transportation of the boys to state global thematic essays school and so on.
So I would say we've got it as managed as well as possible. MARTIN: So you've got a schedule like who's going to tales statements do dinner on what night and who's going to do what? MARTIN: So does your daughter ever say mom, you're not cutting it, you're not pulling your weight on the dinner thing? (SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER) MARTIN: That's too much takeout on your night? FOX: We have monthly meeting. We have a monthly meeting that's got its own agenda; you check off things, you try to raise things so they don't become problems. MARTIN: Wow. Bambara By Cade Essay? Does everybody get an equal vote kind of thing?
FOX: Yes. Well, do the boys get an equal vote? Probably not quite. MARTIN: Wow, that's interesting. Rebecca, what about you? Are there any pressure points for you? Are there any strains for you?
AGUILAR: Wow, I keep listening to everybody and I don't seem as organized. I, we kind of wing it. Tales Thesis? I mean it's just I didn't really have any rules. I just said, you know, mi casa es tu casa kind of thing, you know, my home is creative critical thinking course, your home. I didn't want my father-in-law - I don't know, he was such an easygoing guy. I mean like I said, I love my mother but it would've been a whole different dynamic with her. So with my father-in-law, we didn't do it for, you know, because of financial reasons or anything like that.
We did it because I just didn't want my father-in-law to live alone. MARTIN: What about for your husband? MARTIN: Because you didn't have to canterbury statements relive, you don't have to live adolescence with him. But what about your husband? AGUILAR: Oh, he said I married the perfect woman because he was so happy. He couldn't believe that I wanted to take in Pops, and for him it's been great.
I mean they spend time together. Creative Course Outline? They have lunch together. They just, it's been great. I think it's also helped our marriage because, you know, it shows that hey, I am in love with this man if I took in his father. So it's been great. And you were talking about dinner. Statements? That's an interesting point too because sometimes again, we wing it, but I remember one of the things my father-in-law had to learn was how to eat Mexican food. And so I remember one time I made some tacos and he's looking at it with his fork and knife like, OK, how I do this? (SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER) AGUILAR: So dig into or what do I do? And I finally said Pops; you just pick it up and needed to let me show you how. And so it's been a cultural thing because, you know, one of the critical thinking, things that I've taught him a lot about, you know, the culture, or the tales statements, Latino culture; other cultures because again, he grew up in a whole different generation where, you know, there was separated the blacks and bambara essay lesson toni the whites, and Latinos and the whites.
And so, it's been great for him. Canterbury Tales Statements? And many times he's like, you know, gosh, I learned a lot from you, Rebecca. And I said I too, too. He was in World War II so I relive a lot of the history that happened in come into play the past; we're in the now, and that's what's wonderful about it. MARTIN: That is interesting. That sounds - OK.
But again, Katherine again, I'm just kind of - I don't want to be Debbie Downer here, but I am still thinking of the scenario where the young person wishes he or she were not there, OK? And I'm just wondering how that plays out, where you were saying that the tension often arises if the senior members, let's say the senior members of the household don't feel that the younger person is pulling his or her weight. But what about if that younger person feels that he or she is doing everything possible and isn't advancing? I'm just wondering how that played out, because I'd have to confess, I know a lot of tales statements young people in new york my community where, you know, housing costs - this is an area where housing costs are high, there's a lot of competition for, you know, these fellowships and internships that are highly desirable, and some of these young folks are ashamed that they're living at home at this stage of their lives and. NEWMAN: I think that shame factor is actually declining because this is becoming so common. We have such an canterbury thesis statements enormous group of people who are returning home and it's not an aberration anymore.
It's almost become a normal part of the lifecycle. So people tend to skills play feel shame when they're at odds with the currents in their generation. I will say though, that there is tremendous frustration amongst young people today because of the tales thesis, way in and decision-making come into play which the statements, economy has hammered their options. Reports? And, you know, these we're often talking about people whose families have spent hundreds of canterbury thesis thousands of dollars putting them through college, only to discover that they really don't have the toni, kinds of professional options that those degrees were supposed to put them in canterbury statements line for. So there is a lot of how do thinking and decision-making come play frustration and it has to do with what the - a bad hand the labor market is dealing to young people today. And if they happen to be in families where there's very little understanding of how difficult that is and where their actions are attributable by canterbury tales thesis their parents only to how do critical thinking and decision-making skills come their personal whims or personalities and no recognition of how hard that jungle is canterbury thesis, out there, then it can lead to book art of a tremendous amount of strain.
And I studied this issue in the book in six different countries and you see real variations in the way different cultures define what's normal and tales what's a source of shame and frustration - just as your guests have talked about how Mexican culture defines certain things as normal that might not be regarded that way in other communities. How Do Thinking Skills Come Into? Well, in Japan, for example, the phenomenon of the accordion family is something of tales thesis a national catastrophe. It's treated that way. It is the subject of an bambara by cade almost hysterical outburst of canterbury statements criticism within the country and gnashing of teeth and new york state regents essays defining of the younger generation as completely defectives. But in Italy, where I've studied the canterbury thesis statements, same thing, it doesn't excite anything like that kind of critical thinking outline negative view. It's much more like what your guests are describing: we love having our children at tales thesis statements home, why would they ever want to leave us?
So, you know, Johnny is 35 years old and he's still living at home and understanding summary epistle reader his mom is doing his laundry. And her first question to canterbury tales me in interviews is well, why would he ever want to leave me? (SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER) NEWMAN: So there are tremendous variations in how cultures define what we expect of how do thinking skills come play people at different generations. Statements? And some things which are defined as problems by government, for example, because you can't run a Social Security system if you don't have new generations being born and if people don't form new households, often that means they're not having children, those same frustrations that worry policymakers don't really worry ordinary people all that much. They've, you know, they've adapted as some of the people on your show have adapted and actually find it a happy situation. MARTIN: Elizabeth, we only have a couple seconds left. MARTIN: I'm going to ask you, since I know you have a social work background in war addition to just your own common sense, what are some, what advice for people who are considering such an arrangement that you could pass on - very briefly? FOX: We haven't touched on thesis old age. My husband and I are in our quote, encore phase; we have a lot of outside activities, we're taking care of the outline, kids.
We all are aware that true old age is going to tales come. Policymakers should be happy about this trend and I think it's one thing in the bucket for people who are in their 50s, 60s and 70s to think about both their financial and relationship purposes for their old age. Statement Autism? MARTIN: Well, what is it that makes it work in tales thesis your case? Is it that monthly meeting or is it just because you all are so cool? FOX: My husband and my daughter - we had a family where we had lots of people in our house for various reasons over, you know, her whole life. Essay Concerning Human Understanding? So, experience. MARTIN: OK. Tales Thesis Statements? All right. New York Global Regents Essays? Katherine Newman is author of the tales thesis statements, new book The Accordion Family. Statement Autism? It comes out today. She's also a professor of sociology at Johns Hopkins University.
We actually caught up with her in Cape Town, South Africa, where she's traveling. Canterbury Thesis? Elizabeth Fox is a mother of two and grandmother of critical thinking and decision-making play two. She was here with us in our Washington, D.C. studio. That's who just had the last word. And Rebecca Aguilar has a teenage son and her 84-year-old father-in-law living with her and her husband. And she was with us from Dallas. Canterbury Statements? Thank you all so much for joining us. NEWMAN: You're welcome. AGUILAR: Thank you.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) MARTIN: And that's our program for today. I'm Michel Martin and you've been listening to TELL ME MORE from essay concerning human epistle reader, NPR News. Let's talk more tomorrow. Copyright 2012 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of tales statements use and permissions pages at www.npr.org for thesis statement autism further information.
NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by canterbury tales thesis statements Verb8tm, Inc., an NPR contractor, and produced using a proprietary transcription process developed with NPR. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of thesis autism NPR’s programming is the audio record.
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